yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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