her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
