Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
