you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
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