Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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