Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My vagina is officially offended.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize