My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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