the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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