My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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