haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
