I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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