My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
