Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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