If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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