No stitches, just platelets and will power
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
