Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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