do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
