its not stalking. its research.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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