we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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