you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize