Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
