is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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