bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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