Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
