I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
