watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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