maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
