I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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