I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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