I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
