its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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