I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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