Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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