Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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