that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
