Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
