TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
