he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Randomize