If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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