Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
If I die, sorry about rent.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
