so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
