Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
