this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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