i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
