just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
