I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
