The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
