My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
