So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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