I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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