I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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