So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
