i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Dignity is for republicans.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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