New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I got her a Nickelback box set.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
