talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
