some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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