I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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