Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
