the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
