I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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