That's science, my friend. Boner science.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize