hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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