My nipple is on Facebook.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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