you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
