Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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